couple fighting

I often hear from couples who live together that their partner doesn’t give them enough attention or listen to them.  So, I created a quiz question that helps to get clear about this topic:

How do you get your partner to pay attention & listen to you?

a.  Catch them when they look somewhat available & start talking. Keep talking even if they start walking away.

b. Complain that they never listen to you & attack whatever is taking up their attention (ex: work, kids…).

c. Become aloof, act hurt, shut down & avoid them. Make them suffer by ignoring them.

d. Threaten them with breaking up (or divorce) so they know you mean business.

e. None of the above.


Of course, the answer is e, but if you think you don’t do a, b or c when you don’t get attention from your partner, think again.  You may not be aware when you’re doing this, and that goes for both men and women. Feel free to ask your partner, I am sure they’ll be happy to enlighten you.

Going aloof and attacking is a typical way we sabotage our relationship when we are off balance.  Most of us tend to switch back and forth between being the victim and the aggressor.

Then what IS a good way to get your partner to pay attention & listen to you?

First, become aware.  Recognize that both of you are trying to fill your need for love and attention, connection and intimacy, but may be manifesting the opposite of what you want.  Setting a time to talk, when both of you will be available, is a good way to start.

Second, come to the ECSTATIC RELATIONSHIP WORKSHOP and find out how to get your partner to pay attention & listen to you in a way that works, a way that is empowering and satisfying to both of you.

Learn how to set your relationship up to WIN!

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