When I feel heard by my partner I feel fulfilled and connected to him.
We all want to feel gotten, especially by our partners. We talk to express ourselves and to share ourselves, but if we are not heard, if we are not seen, then we can end up feeling frustrated and lonely.
I have discovered that listening to my partner in a special way that makes him feel seen and understood is a way to heal him.
This type of listening is an art form and for most of us, takes a lot of practice.
How well you listen has a huge impact on the quality of your relationships. Are you critical, judgmental, impatient..? Are you listening to agree or disagree, or to fix others and their problems? All these ways of listening are destructive to relationships.
Good communication requires a lot of self-awareness, understanding your personal and unique style when you are feeling balanced and out of balance.
Needing to fix – is a typical reaction, but often our opinions and advice are unwelcome and stop the healing process. Trust that the speaker is wise enough to figure things out on their own. The better listener you can be, the more you’re helping them become clearer and heal.
Here is a way to listen in a special way that heals the speaker while empowering the listener:
Listen to learn about them.
Approach the speaker with a question: “What’s interesting about her/him?” or “What can I learn about her/him?” Listen to what you can learn about their values, interests, worries, desires, what they care about, what they are struggling with.
When you are able to see the speaker as fascinating and truly see inside their soul, it’s energizing, fulfilling and fun for both of you!
How do you listen to your partner?
How do you listen to yourself?
For more ways to connect, create juicy intimacy and heal yourself and your partner, please register for the upcoming Relationships Workshop. For more information go to my website.